3
What was in store for us...
Posted by Brian
on
Friday, May 29, 2009
in
Viareggio
If you have been following the blog, you already know that we are back in Viareggio. And if you've really been paying attention, you'd know the reason why... to house-sit, or cat-sit rather, for a woman named Sofia that we met a month ago. In a normal world, that's exactly where we'd be... cat-sitting for a Polish-Italian widow in the Tuscan beach town of Viareggio. Sounds like a dream right? However, plans change. What seems normal, sometimes gets turned upside down and suddenly you're stuck in the house of obsessive compulsive maniac, who knows no other way to talk than by yelling at the top of her lungs in a italo-polak dialiect that's incomprehensible... even to Italians. Che miseria.
This was our situation. And I say was with the deepest sense of relief. Relief that we no longer have to step foot in that environment again. You can rest assured though, we were never in danger - we were simply the w r o n g people for the job. A job that we thought consisted of watering plants, feeding the cats (occasionally petting them), and in general making sure the house didn't burn down. But it turned out to be an agreement that neither of us knew we entered into. It should have read as follows:
If you, Brian and Jessica, agree to the following conditions please sign your names at the bottom. Of the conditions clearly presented in this letter, you will be expected to comply with the entirety. But please note, that this is only an example of the conditions that may be presented to you. It could be more or less.
You will NOT be given a list of daily chores, but you WILL however be expected to know what these chores are, and complete them in a timely manner. You will NOT be allowed to wear anything on your feet other than the appointed slippers that the owner (Sofia) has handmade for all guests in her house. (pics to follow). You are only allowed in the kitchen during the following hours: 7:30 am & 7:30 pm. Occasionally, the kitchen door will be unlocked around lunchtime. You must close every door in the house after you pass through it. Even if you plan on exiting said door immediately after entering, you must close the door. If you plan on going outside, you must place a pair of shoes/sandals outside that door so that you will always have something to change into when you take your slippers off. You will not be given a key to the house, therefore it will be necessary to let the owner know your exact times of departure and arrival every day so that she may be present when you ring the security bell. She will then unlock both doors for you where you will proceed to take your shoes off outside and trade them for the previously mentioned sandals. You will be required to memorize every obsessive compulsive pattern or formality used by the owner so as to not disturb the tranquility of the house and her peace. For example, if you are lucky enough to be trusted with dishwashing duty, please note that the yellow, sterile, dish gloves must never touch the soapy water in the sink. And if they do, the owner will then be compelled to throw those "soiled" gloves in the trash whilst looking at you in disgust for the horrible mistake that you made. Please understand that even though every square inch of this house may appear clean and spotless to you, it won't however appear the same way to the owner, because she is crazy. As for the cats, don't expect to have any relationship with them. They are not allowed outside of the porch, and if they approach the screen door leading into the house you may find the owner yelling at them exclaiming "Che vuoi!!!! Non mi hai capito?!?!?! Hai capito niente!!!". translation: "What do you want!!! Do you not understand me?!?!?! You understand nothing!!!" (please note she is yelling this to the poor cats who are only looking for some affection).
In summary, please be aware that the agreement you are entering into is anything but the agreement you had in mind. The owner will not be leaving for several weeks, therefore you will be living and working with her until she leaves. Please enjoy the papa smurf tapestry handmade by the owner for guests like you. If you accept these terms, please sign below.
________________
________________
OK. if this was given to us, maybe we could have avoided the last two days. But, things don't always work out like that. Life does however, turn out just fine. We were asked to leave at about the same time we decided we couldn't take it anymore "Non c'e la faccio piu" and we immediately called up our friend who gave us this recommendation. She apologized and sympathized with us, welcomed us into her hotel for the night, gave us a free place to stay for the weekend, and offered us an apartment to rent for a reasonable rate here in Viareggio. I guess things do have a way of working out. If there's an agreement we have now ...it's to stop by the hotel occasionally - just to talk English/Italian with the owners and their family. That's it. We are happy with our new situation. We hope to be in Viareggio for the month of June and then plan on meeting up with Alan and Erica thereafter.
Here's to leaving behind the crazies...
Brian & Jess
Papa Smurf
Happy to be leaving.
|
This was our situation. And I say was with the deepest sense of relief. Relief that we no longer have to step foot in that environment again. You can rest assured though, we were never in danger - we were simply the w r o n g people for the job. A job that we thought consisted of watering plants, feeding the cats (occasionally petting them), and in general making sure the house didn't burn down. But it turned out to be an agreement that neither of us knew we entered into. It should have read as follows:
If you, Brian and Jessica, agree to the following conditions please sign your names at the bottom. Of the conditions clearly presented in this letter, you will be expected to comply with the entirety. But please note, that this is only an example of the conditions that may be presented to you. It could be more or less.
You will NOT be given a list of daily chores, but you WILL however be expected to know what these chores are, and complete them in a timely manner. You will NOT be allowed to wear anything on your feet other than the appointed slippers that the owner (Sofia) has handmade for all guests in her house. (pics to follow). You are only allowed in the kitchen during the following hours: 7:30 am & 7:30 pm. Occasionally, the kitchen door will be unlocked around lunchtime. You must close every door in the house after you pass through it. Even if you plan on exiting said door immediately after entering, you must close the door. If you plan on going outside, you must place a pair of shoes/sandals outside that door so that you will always have something to change into when you take your slippers off. You will not be given a key to the house, therefore it will be necessary to let the owner know your exact times of departure and arrival every day so that she may be present when you ring the security bell. She will then unlock both doors for you where you will proceed to take your shoes off outside and trade them for the previously mentioned sandals. You will be required to memorize every obsessive compulsive pattern or formality used by the owner so as to not disturb the tranquility of the house and her peace. For example, if you are lucky enough to be trusted with dishwashing duty, please note that the yellow, sterile, dish gloves must never touch the soapy water in the sink. And if they do, the owner will then be compelled to throw those "soiled" gloves in the trash whilst looking at you in disgust for the horrible mistake that you made. Please understand that even though every square inch of this house may appear clean and spotless to you, it won't however appear the same way to the owner, because she is crazy. As for the cats, don't expect to have any relationship with them. They are not allowed outside of the porch, and if they approach the screen door leading into the house you may find the owner yelling at them exclaiming "Che vuoi!!!! Non mi hai capito?!?!?! Hai capito niente!!!". translation: "What do you want!!! Do you not understand me?!?!?! You understand nothing!!!" (please note she is yelling this to the poor cats who are only looking for some affection).
In summary, please be aware that the agreement you are entering into is anything but the agreement you had in mind. The owner will not be leaving for several weeks, therefore you will be living and working with her until she leaves. Please enjoy the papa smurf tapestry handmade by the owner for guests like you. If you accept these terms, please sign below.
________________
________________
OK. if this was given to us, maybe we could have avoided the last two days. But, things don't always work out like that. Life does however, turn out just fine. We were asked to leave at about the same time we decided we couldn't take it anymore "Non c'e la faccio piu" and we immediately called up our friend who gave us this recommendation. She apologized and sympathized with us, welcomed us into her hotel for the night, gave us a free place to stay for the weekend, and offered us an apartment to rent for a reasonable rate here in Viareggio. I guess things do have a way of working out. If there's an agreement we have now ...it's to stop by the hotel occasionally - just to talk English/Italian with the owners and their family. That's it. We are happy with our new situation. We hope to be in Viareggio for the month of June and then plan on meeting up with Alan and Erica thereafter.
Here's to leaving behind the crazies...
Brian & Jess
La strega. You can look up that word
Disobeying the master by touching the floor - thus making a mess.
Now we're just being outright criminal.
Papa Smurf 
Confused and unhappy.
Happy to be leaving. 
|
